20/20

The phrase “hindsight is 20/20” rings true for all of us at some point.  It explains why we look back at a period of our lives or circumstance with a depth of clarity that we didn’t possess before.  We look back through a clearer lens, understanding that what we deserved in consequences, we didn’t get.  We see that our behavior warranted us to be counted out and dismissed from a life of purpose, but somehow we are currently experiencing another chance. 

There are those like Debora Barr, who, through grace have an opportunity to acknowledge that where she stands is miraculous.  Take a look at the letter she sent her Pastor after being set free from a lifestyle of lesbianism.

I had an incredible experience on the way to work this morning that I want to share with you while it is fresh in my mind. I was commuting on the train to Silver Spring and listening to my praise and worship music drowning out all other sounds around me with eyes closed—praying and pressing in closer to the Lord when it felt like a cargo strap let loose from my inner soul.

I really understood deep in my soul for the first time the MAGNITUDE of the miracle that God has performed in my life! I knew with a “head knowledge” that a miracle has occurred and has heard many other people say that a miracle has occurred—and have even said it myself—but riding the wave of emotion for the past several months as I have, it didn’t resonate deeply in my soul enough to break that bondage until today!

I was trapped in a life of sin and despair that was dragging me down to the depths of the grave for over twenty years, and at the time, I didn’t even know it! I thought I was making my own way in this world, and everything in my world was fine! All the while I was searching for love and acceptance and a sense of belonging from those who could never give me what my soul was desperately needed. And at the same time, I turned my back (and publicly denounced) the ONLY ONE who truly LOVES ME, has ALWAYS LOVED ME, will ALWAYS LOVE ME and is the ONLY SOURCE for what I have been searching for all of these years!

All the while GOD (who knew me from the beginning of time, created me in His hands, and breathed life into me)— that same God— watched over me for all of these years with tears in His eyes.  That He protected me from harm, grieved when I hurt Him and sacrificed His only Son who was without sin to cover my abominable sin to save my wretched soul that should have been destroyed years ago for all of the evil I have committed in my lifetime! I didn’t even deserve to be considered by Him, yet He loves me so much that He did consider me. He gently revealed to me the areas of sin in my life and placed people and circumstances in my path to lead me back to His loving embrace!

I THANK GOD that He protected me all these years (even when I tried to destroy myself) and allowed me to wake up each day on this earth until I turned back to Him, repented of my sin and invited Him to fully control my life FOR ETERNITY—or right now I would be burning in hell forever. I shudder to think that for one second He could have turned HIS back on ME and allowed me to be destroyed!

I want to shout from the mountaintops into the heavens: Hallelujah, Jesus! Thank You for loving me! Thank You for saving me! I will praise Your name forever! Hallelujah!

Whether it is lesbianism or a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, if it’s not God’s will, He wants you free. He possesses the capacity to give you “redo”.   Trust him with your “thing” and ask for His help.  There is a Savior who not only saves us from our sins but saves us from ourselves.  Let Him do that for you! 

Don’t let your mistakes be the end of your story.  Be remade by grace!

 

Tylunda Greene