Self Worth

When I was 15 years old, I decided to have sex with a boy to be accepted by my peers.  My first time having sex, I became pregnant. Often times I would hear my mother say “don’t come up in here pregnant.”  So telling my parents was not an option.  Somehow I thought by keeping it a secret and hiding my stomach, no one would ever find out...never.  I hid it well until my mother noticed my stomach. At that point, I was 9 months pregnant and due any day. 

That’s when my worth, esteem and confidence slowly disappeared within two weeks.  The stares, whispers, demeaning words and harsh tones pierced me like a sword.  What finally broke me was when an extremely close family member handed me an envelope for Christmas. Everyone found out I was pregnant about two weeks before Christmas, and I delivered my son on Dec. 29.   A feeling of joy and relief came over me as I received the envelope.  I thought people were beginning to see that I made a bad decision, but I wasn’t a bad person. 

I opened the envelope only to find 2 pennies inside which defined my worth for over 20 years.  As a matter of fact, I was in the negative.  I piled on false images to hide who I thought I was and proceeded with life assuming that was my story forever.  While I grew up in church, it wasn’t until I totally surrendered to God and His word that I realized I am defined by God’s word and nothing else. Yes, I made a mistake, but God’s unmerited favor towards me allowed me to rise above and overcome ALL obstacles. And that’s what makes me an unstoppable Grace Girl.

 

Tylunda Greene